You Used To Be...

My feelings towards things change all the time. I hate feeling stuck in situations and every now and then I need a change...as patient as I can sometimes be, there aren't too many things I can tolerate for that long. This was a recent change though because I am going to contradict myself right now.

As a child, I used to watch movies over and over again...I still do it sometimes but it was bad back in the day. Dumb and Dumber was probably the movie I've seen the most (can quote the entire thing), my little brother and I used to watch Anaconda every other day for all of 1998 (at least 150 times) but the movie that I used to love and absolutely NEVER get tired of watching was Angels in the Outfield.

There was a scene in that movie where the two kids are on their way to the field to take a picture with the Angels Manager George Knox (Danny Glover). On their way down they walk past a bunch of Angels players and when they see Mel Clark (Tony Danza) they ask the man escorting them who he is. He explains that he was once one of the best pitchers in the league and the young child JP (no not my coach) said to Tony Danza "hey, you used to be Mel Clark?"

I think that that line was one of the most hurtful things someone could accidentally say to a professional athlete. The face Tony Danza put on after he was asked that question should have won him an Oscar, I still feel bad to this day about how painful that was and I know I'll have to deal with that pain one day. Anyway, it got me thinking about a few other guys who were once in their prime and are now shadows of their former self. I know as people get older, their priorities change. It’s part of growing up, and it's the same for an average person or a celebrity. And with that being said, here are three celebrities who kind of suck now...but you may have forgotten how awesome they once were.



Arnold Schwarzenegger




Arnold is among many iconic celebrities of yesteryear who have become nothing more than a caricature of themselves (*cough* Christopher Walken *cough*). Mr. Muscle emerged to supremacy as THE action hero of the 1980s. And with classics like The Terminator, Total Recall and The Running Man, Arnold was a bonafide badass for much of his career. And even before he was a movie badass, he was the coolest mf’er in the room and a beacon of unintentional comedy, like in the documentary Pumping Iron.

 Sadly, it was somewhere around the time that Jingle All The Way came out that Arnold began to backslide into the B-list of celebrity (and his portrayal of Mr. Freeze in Batman & Robin sealed the deal). Now the governator of Cal-i-forn-ia, Arnold is one sex tape away from signing on to star in the next season of I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here!



Tom Cruise


Oh, Lord Xenu, you vile villain. You may have “saved” Tom Cruise’s soul with the religion of Scientology, but in the process you have royally screwed this dudes' street cred. In the 80s, Cruise rose to fame thanks to blockbusters like Top Gun and Rain Man. And through the new millennium, every woman wanted to bone him and every dude wanted to be him. Except (for me and) Val Kilmer, who seemed to want a bit of both in the famous volleyball scene from Top Gun.

 Just a couple dudes, sharing some sexual tension and shirtless athletic competition. No biggie.

But ever since Mr. Cruise parted ways with Nicole Kidman, his celebrity star has fallen dramatically. Most of this can be chalked up to his odd behavior surrounding his whirlwind “romance” with Katie Holmes – all of which culminated on his awkward appearance on the Oprah Winfrey Show (which I just heard is ending soon). With the curtain pulled back, Cruise was revealed for the weirdo that he is, and though still a major Hollywood player, no one wants to either be or bone this guy anymore. Well, other than alien souls stuck wandering the Earth.

Michael Jackson



Too soon? I know the wound is still fresh, but come on – Michael Jackson was one f’d up dude. Yes, he was uber talented. Yes, he is one of the greatest pop singers of all time. And yes, the dude could moonwalk like a motherf’er. But seriously, you can’t honestly tell me that Michael Jackson died as a badass A-list celebrity.




We’re talking surgical masks, skin bleaching, ridiculous plastic surgery…allegations of child abuse! Whether you believe the rumors or not, the fact is that the King of Pop’s terrible upbringing and the pressures of fame eventually imploded upon him. And yet, despite all his flaws, the majority of the world is willing to look past it all. This, more than anything, should be a testament to how freaking epic Michael’s talents truly are. Because, though he died a shattered shell of himself, we still remember him for healing the world with songs like Thriller, Billy Jean oh yeah and Heal The World.

*Yesterday's blog about Artest and that tribute prompted me to shout out big MJ...he was the man

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