What Is The Deal With These Four Lokos?

I go away to France for three days and get back to a ton of emails and stories about this drink. When I first heard of this stuff it was when my two favorite rappers mentioned it on Crooked I's Hip Hop Weekly over the Hard In The Paint Beat where he claims to be "kinda f*cked up on these Four Lokos in this b*tch" and then Joell Ortiz states that he "gotta keep it movin' like dope on the block, I post like Karl Malone in the spot, quiet with the Jazz and I already spazz, and I just gave Four Lokos a shot..." After those lines caught my attention I started to look out for the "blackout in a can" and suddenly found it popping up all over the place. The website fourlokostories.com has some pretty ridiculous content (from peeing on people's faces during sex to punching old ladies in the mall and running away) that users submit about their events with the drink. Although the majority of them seem made up, I find myself believing a few like this one here...(from_NoMoLokoFoMe): My buddy and me buy 3 lokos each...about an hour and a hlaf later we go to mcdonalds and he tries to buy 3 mcdoubles. He said he was gonna pay with debit and proceeds to swipe his cell phone through the card reader (unsucessfully) and goes to the bathroom. When he got back he started screaming in anger that he paid and wanted his money back. We got the cops called on us.

Now I've had my fair share of Red Bull and Vodka's and Jägerbombs but this stuff just seems a little bit over the top. The New York Daily News reported that it's the equivalent to having three beers and three cups of coffee (I've also heard 5beers/1coffee or 3beers/1energydrink/1coffee...but you get the point). And in that same article they claimed that the drink grew popular after a story about a Bronx gang that "forced a victim to guzzle 10 cans before beating him mercilessly in what was described as a gay bias attack." If beating someone mercilessly wasn't bad enough...forcing them to drink something comparable to 30 beers and 30 cups of coffee is as f*cked up as f*cked up gets.

Needless to say, New York, along with Michigan, Washington, Oklahoma and Utah have stopped allowing the drink to be bought and sold. And collegehumor has run a "Honest Four Loko Commercial" to help the claims of those states

 

 

And although Stephen Colbert argues the other side of it...in a very humorous way...these duracell battery tasting beverages are out of control...

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Now I consider myself an experienced drinker...four years of hanging out with Matt Basford, Mike DeCorso, Dan Falcon and Chael Clark at NYU will do that to anyone...and it was a great feeling knowing that I reached my alcohol limit on three Olde English 40's and that the $20 bill I took out the ATM had enough change to get me a late night slice of Ben's Pizza (or five). So at $3 a pop for these Four Lokos...I can definitely understand the appeal...especially when that caffiene doesn't make you an "oh my god I need to lay down" drunk...but rather a "YOOOO I'M READY TO GO, WHO WANT'S ANOTHER SHOT" drunk. Things can get ugly.

But just as recently as today on *Apollokidz.com I'm learning that "The company that produces the Four Loko beverage said it will remove the caffeine and two other ingredients from its products after facing a cascade of criticism and regulatory scrutiny for producing the energy drinks, which combine high levels of the stimulant with alcohol." And as my fellow KIDZ claimed...it's not going to stop them from selling it on the black market..."when kids hear the sh*t is banned they will want it more and the bodegas will double the price..." Now as tempted as I am to at least try one, that caffiene level of three coffees and the lack of taste I hear it has is a complete turnoff...but anyone in close proximity of a binge drinker...BEWARE

"Do What You Do" --blackhercules21