Top 10 Reasons Why Men Cheat

When Tiger Woods was forced into admitting his marital 'transgressions' in a half-hearted apology on his website, he joined a long and illustrious band of high profile fellas (*cough myself included cough*) who've been caught playing away.

Woods now joins Charlie Chaplin, Bill Clinton, JFK, Elvis Presley, Einstein (he had 10 mistresses no less) Napoleon and er...John Major, to name but a few high profile historical male icons who've struggled to commit to one woman. And that's before we even begin to look at all of the 'alleged' cases of marital indiscretions -- hello Messrs Ramsay and Beckham--.

But even for the everyday man or woman, adultery has been around forever, and has always given us something to talk about. Most reality TV shows these days center on it, as do gossip mags and radio talk shows. But we are far from cracking the big mystery: Why do most men cheat in relationships?

All men know, at some level, that cheating is wrong -- otherwise why would they be hiding it? From the earliest age, we are taught the virtues of monogamy. "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife," bellows our Judeo-Christian consciousness. Yet we still do it.

Blame It On The Genes

In troubled relationships, cheating can be an easy alternative to the burden of a breakup or the agony of divorce. It's a quick fix for the sake of the couple's or the family's integrity. Some of us have even gone so far as to enact the long-distance code: If you cheat in another postcode, it doesn't count. (I always got a kick out of this one).

And with evolutionary psychologists telling us that we are wired to lay our seeds in as many women as possible to ensure our genetic survival, adultery is slowly becoming a defensible misdeed, which may explain why women are catching up to men in the game of infidelity.

Because of our insatiable appetite for sex, we men can sometimes only be as faithful as our options. Here are the 10 main reasons why some men will opt to shed their devotion and cheat on their partners.

Number 10--Your lady doesn't give it up

Every man has heard that the best way to get a woman to stop having sex with him is by marrying her. Apparently, long-term relationships seem to suck the sex drive out of many women, leaving men gasping for fulfilment. With the need for more sex, some men will start "working late" more often.

Or it could just be that the sex has become boring. She doesn't want to try new things in bed, or won't perform fellatio. Some men may cheat because they don't want their girlfriends or wives to perform certain sex acts that would ruin their "good girl" image, so they get a mistress to take care of it. Like Robert de Niro said in Analyze This , "That's the mouth she kisses my kids good night with!"

In light of this, I call on lawmakers around the world to create an International BJ Day, where men and women get the day off from work and get all the oral satisfaction they need from their partners. I'll bet that this alone would cut infidelity by at least 75%.

Number 9--She cheated on you

So you found out your lady was being unfaithful, and the only way you can relieve your anger is by doing the same. For many men, this is the only way to get back at their cheating girlfriends and even the score. Some men might even cheat to get back at all the cheating women they've had the misfortune of dating throughout their lives; now that's efficiency.(Guilty)

Number 8--It's challenging and exciting

If you consider the women you sleep with "sexual trophies," chances are you have already cheated at least once in your life. Some men simply cannot leave behind the thrill of the hunt, the chase and the conquest. For other men, the excitement is in the variety, like changing ice cream flavours for one day after years of sticking to just one.

Number 7--You can get away with it

"What eyes don't see, the heart doesn't feel," goes the old adage, and it still holds true, as long as there are no cameras around -- or, in the case of Tiger Woods, voicemails --. The knowledge that no one will find out and no one will get hurt is reason enough for some men to grab a different helping. But be careful; as men get craftier with avoiding detection, women get more sophisticated with detecting, not to mention boosting their network of spies. (Guilty)

Number 6--It boosts your ego

Nothing lifts the old self-esteem like discovering that other women still desire you sexually. When in long-term relationships, men may begin to question their sexual marketability, which will lead some of them to sow their clandestine wild oats. Once a man knows he can get back in the game, he'll return to his mate; or not. (Guilty)

Number 5--The opportunity was there

It's an uncontested fact that most men can't say "no" to sex. Although guys aren't constantly bombarded with sexual offers, sometimes an irresistible prospect presents itself. Maybe it's a frisky ex-girlfriend, maybe it's a horny hottie on the dance floor. A guy may see it as once-in-a-lifetime occasion that might never be available again. Carpe diem , as they say.(Guilty)

Number 4--Your girlfriend is a nag

Most men have experienced at least one woman who thrives on making him feel like crap. Constant nagging, fighting and squabbling in the right ratios is the best recipe for a headache. Cheating with another woman is a common escape from this domestic hell, and works better than aspirin.(Guilty)

Number 3--Women let us

OK here's the good news Tiger: Truth be told, women are quick to forgive men for their unfaithful behaviour. Maybe it's their fear of being alone, or that women are simply the more merciful ones of the human species. Some women might even blame themselves for their men's infidelities, and take steps to improve their relationships. The fact that many women let their men get away with murder might compel them to double deal repeatedly. Just ask Bill Clinton or Jeffrey Archer.

Number 2--She doesn't turn you on anymore

Long-term relationships have the annoying habit of making people lazy. No longer concerned with staying fit and attractive, a committed woman might lose the allure she once had. Her man may simply not find her beautiful anymore, and making love to her is not as stirring as it once was. This is why most mistresses are gorgeous, young women.

Number 1--You don't love her anymore

Alas, after a long time together, you have lost the feelings you once had for her. But the relationship has remained too much a part of you. Separating seems so painful, so radical that it's almost inconceivable. So instead of separating, you go elsewhere to get your physical gratification. Most times this does not help matters, but only prolongs the inevitable breakup. (Guilty)

Your Cheating Heart

In the end, cheating is no joking matter. If you are cheating on your girlfriend or wife, it might be that you are unhappy in the relationship, or that you have issues that you should address. Look at the big picture and see your unfaithfulness as a symptom of a bigger problem.

Cheating might feel good as a quick escape from your problems, but it's only an anesthetic -- not a long-term solution.

Do What You Do      Hallelujah Hollaback      ...blackhercules21...

Six Signs She's Thinking Of Cheating

First, let me defend the sisterhood by saying, many, many women don't cheat. Especially when they're in happy relationships. If they're really into a guy, they are loyal-from-first-kiss. Faithfulness is hardwired into the female circuitry, like your need to cuddle and to buy shoes.

Now, the unfortunate exception: Some do. Okay, a lot do: The incidence of extramarital intercourse for women is 25 percent, and the estimate of single women who've cheated is even higher. And if a woman is going to cheat, there are surprisingly specific times when she's likely to do it.

Pay attention, because even if you're sure your woman would never stray, the urge may pop up at one of these times. Then put this advice to work, because the follow-through doesn't have to happen.

She's Turning 25 or 30 or 35 or . . .

Decade and half-decade birthdays trigger navel-gazing-figuratively, and perhaps literally. A woman asks herself, "What have I been doing for the past 5 years?" (hopefully she likes the answer)

"She'll think deeply about her love life and its direction, and if it's not going the way she planned, she might jump at the chance to correct it with an affair," says Don-David Lusterman, Ph.D., a psychologist and the author of Infidelity: A Survival Guide.

The incidence of birthday cheating triples in women who report being in unhappy relationships, according to a survey by infidelity.com.

The plan: Be there.
There are 2 nights when every straight woman wants a man in her bed: New Year's Eve and her birthday. Leave her solo and you're giving her permission—and reason—to cheat. And remember, birthday sex is about the birthday girl. Presents are good, too. Especially jewelry.

She's Been Promoted

Women like to have projects and goals. When she reaches a milestone-say, in her career—she may start to think, Now what? says Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D., author of Can We Forgive Adultery? Staying Not Straying. For her next challenge, she may focus on another big part of her life—say, her relationship. Riding the high of her work success, she'll feel that goals are achievable, and she'll be motivated to get the rest of her life on track. (which, if done right, can be a great thing)

Also, women with fat salaries are more likely to cheat. A University of Washington study found that people who earned $75,000 or more per year were 1.5 times more likely to have had extramarital sex than those earning less than $30,000.

The plan: Brag about your woman's promotion.
"Most guys make the mistake of not doing enough to celebrate their girlfriends' accomplishments," says Scott Haltzman, M.D., a clinical assistant professor of psychiatry and human behavior at Brown University. "When she sees you honoring her, she'll feel as valued by you as she does at work."

Translation: She won't look for that emotion elsewhere—like in the marketing veep's bed.

She's Moving in with You

Yes, it was probably her idea. But now that you're together 24-7 and sharing every detail of your lives, there's not as great a need to keep the conversation flowing every minute. (It's damn-near impossible)

"She could subconsciously interpret this as meaning that you think she's boring," says Stuart Fischoff, Ph.D., a professor of psychology at California State University at Los Angeles. "If there's someone else around who finds her attractive and intriguing-and shows it-she might go for him instead." (A menshealth.com survey found that 41 percent of women who've cheated did it with a coworker.) Ouch.

And again, with the whole goal thing-now that you've moved in together, she'll be thinking about the next step, such as engagement or marriage.

"Face it, most women want marriage, and they want to have children," says Susan Heitler, Ph.D., author of The Power of Two. "If you're withholding either or both, you're inviting the risk of her turning to someone else who can make that commitment and give her children."

The plan: Make it clear that you're thinking of living together as a starting point.
Talk about the future. Talk about her in your future.

She Thinks You've Cheated

Revenge affairs are common. Women have them in an attempt to restore self-esteem and feel desirable again. (Heard that before)

"It comes down to human nature," Heitler says. "She'll want to get even." She won't necessarily go out looking to hook up, but when she's tempted, the fact that you've done it may weaken her self-control.

The plan: If you are cheating or have cheated before, confess and apologize.
A survey conducted by Peggy Vaughan, author of The Monogamy Myth, showed that 86 percent of couples who discussed one partner's affair were still married, compared with 59 percent of couples who barely talked about it.

If you're not cheating, you have one paranoid woman on your hands. She probably has low self-confidence. Your job: Compliment her, sincerely, specifically, and often.

"You can make her feel better about herself so she won't become vulnerable to these unfounded suspicions," Fischoff says.

She's Not Getting Enough

Oxytocin, a hormone that plays a central role in a female's urge to bond, spikes to levels three to five times higher than usual just before orgasm. The hormone is more intense in females than in males, so women develop a stronger sense of bonding through sex.(I'm no doctor but I could've told you that).

"If the two of you are not having as much sex as you used to, she might interpret this as a sign that you don't find her attractive and that you don't love her," Fischoff says. "She may seek someone outside the relationship to validate that she's still sexually attractive."

A so-so sex life could also mean you have unresolved problems between you. Research conducted by Shirley Glass, Ph.D., author of Not Just Friends, found that 79 percent of cheating women cited dissatisfaction in the marriage as the cause.

The plan: Have more sex.
If she's the one who doesn't want sex, investigate why. Fix it. Get naked.

She's Ready to Bolt

One more reason a woman might cheat: She wants to dump you. Infidelity can break up couples, so she might cheat on purpose as an easy out. (What a b*tch)

David Buss, a Ph.D., a professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin and the author of The Evolution of Desire, asked 100 men and women which tactic they would use to get out of a bad relationship. One of the most common answers: Start an affair.

The plan: She sucks—let her go.
You're free!

Who Is She Listening To? The Angel or the Devil?

Do What You Do      Hallelujah Hollaback      ...blackhercules21...

HMMM???

After dogsitting yesterday for the first time in a long time, it made me think of getting a dog. But the only problem is, I already have a girlfriend...time to weigh the pros and cons to having a girlfriend vs. having a dog...

1. Companionship
Dog is mans best friend, period. Regardless of what comes between you, your dog will always love you. Your dog won’t complain about you playing too many video games, and is perfectly content to simply lie on the floor and watch.   Your dog would never get jealous of another dog. In fact, your dog couldn’t be happier if you brought another dog into the relationship. Try that with your girlfriend, and you’d be lucky if she never brought your testicles into a relationship with her stilettos.

2. Tolerance
Regardless of whether or not they are, your dog and your girlfriend react differently when referred to as a bitch. Your dog, on the one hand, doesn’t get upset or offended when referred to as such. Your girlfriend, however, will remind you whose balls she keeps in a glass vase on her night stand. Your dog doesn’t care if you fart at the table, in the car, or in the shower. If you don’t want to feel your dogs breath on your neck because it makes you feel all weird and shit at night, one word, “Down” and he’s awake and out of bed. Plus, if you want him back IN the bed (for the love of God not for the same reason as your girlfriend), you give the mattress a quick pat, one word, “Up” and he’s in.

3. Forgiveness
If you were to anger your girlfriend about something, perhaps you didn’t notice a new haircut, stepped on her shoes, or accidentally peed on her in the shower (it happens, we know), forgiveness will certainly be difficult to obtain. It can range anywhere from a ’sorry I peed on you in the shower’ card from Hallmark, to a home cooked meal, to a $300 dinner at Fogo De Chao. Either way, it can be too damn expensive. (More expensive than a first date to get you into the same place with someone else, at least). And your dog? Say you accidentally dropped a log on him while working around the house. What’s he need? Whatever is left on your plate when you’re done eating, or a 36 cent dog biscuit. Cheap as dirt (almost).

4. Jealousy
Let’s face it; you absolutely love your dog. You’re pretty sure you want to spend the rest of your life with your girlfriend. If you bring your girlfriend over to your place, your dog is elated to meet her, the woman who brings happiness into your life. Your dog is bounding with excitement, licking her all over. If you bring your dog over to your girlfriend’s place, there is absolutely no reciprocation. “That mutt is NOT coming in my house.” Then, because you momentarily forget the ‘Bros before Hoes’ clause, your dog patiently waits outside all night, chained to the porch, while you get your busy on. Then, when you come out, he acts like it never happened, because he is that happy to see you.

5. Exercise buddy
Finding the perfect workout partner isn’t easy.  Regardless of how you’re feeling that day, your good ol’ buddy will always slow down or speed up to match your pace and stay right beside you, your motivator.  And then there’s your girlfriend. Let’s face it: as soon as she knows she’s got you hooked, she stops trying. And before that, if you somehow convince her to go running with you, you are expected to slow down, speed up, take breaks with her at her pace etc.

6. Wingman
Your dog is a wingman, the second best wingman in the world. The absolute best is a baby or a child, but that throws women off too, because being a father is a turn off to many (except the ones with those very sexy daddy issues aka strippers). He’ll walk right up to a gorgeous woman, sniff her, lick her, and all you have to do, you stud you, is go running up to her and say “I’m sorry, he must’ve got away from me, the rascal” and start playing with him. Chances are above awesome that she’ll join in, you two will strike up a conversation, and wherever the day goes from there relies solely on you’re A-game. Your girlfriend is the worst wingman possible. And that’s a given. There’s no explanation necessary. But, because we like to go the extra mile, here’s why; if you’re walking in the park, and your eyes dart anywhere, for a mere millisecond, away from either the ground or the woman you are with, you’ll get a slap upside the head and a “Which one, huh? Which WHORE is it you’re looking at now!?”

And finally, the reason your girlfriend is better:

It’s the reason you left your ever loyal wingman outside all those nights… Like it or not, bestiality is a crime. You can do things with her that you can’t legally (or without losing your lunch, dignity, and social status as anything above sheep-porker) do with your dog. Besides, she’s hotter.

Do What You Do      Hallelujah Hollaback      ...blackhercules21...